Lest you think me the worst sort of pseudo-intellectual

I'd like to take this opportunity to point out that an egg omelette with dill and chives is tits. I don't mean it's literally tits, like "I am eating mammary glands and they are delicious, because I enjoy sublimated cannibalism and that's why I'm a practicing Catholic." Shit, there I go again. Look, just put some dill and chives in your next omelette, you'll kiss God.