But before I say goodbye let me leave you with a two things.
First: Hat Rabbit Yellow
--Morrison Out (for good)
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Hat Rabbit Yellow Has Moved
What an odd statement. We've moved? Nothing Moved. I just don't post here anymore. So perhaps a more accurate statement is I don't care about this section of the shared hard drive anymore. Not that I never did. Because we had some good times. But those times are gone. And better new times are on the way.
But before I say goodbye let me leave you with a two things.
First: Hat Rabbit Yellow
Second: This
--Morrison Out (for good)
But before I say goodbye let me leave you with a two things.
First: Hat Rabbit Yellow
--Morrison Out (for good)
Thursday, June 3, 2010
National Doughnut Day
Morrison here,
Everybody knows that a Burrow Owl lives in a whole in the ground and everybody knows that tomorrow is National Doughnut Day. Unless you didn't. Anyways I wanted to make sure that everybody knew that tomorrow you are supposed to be able to go to your local bakery and they are required to give you--at a minimum--1 free doughnut.
I, in my typical due-diligence, am drawing up a tour map. I'll be starting at the East Gate Albertsons, shooting down Broadway to the new Safeway store, angling back and south to The Downtown Bakery and then to Food Farm, cutting back over to LPO (ok, they don't have doughnuts, but I'm gonna need coffee at some point!), hooking across to Bernice's, at which point I'll lay down some rubber on Higgins all the way around the horn, hitting Patty Creek Market and the second Albertsons (in your face Albertsons!), cutting back up and all the way over to the second Safeway (in your...ah forget it), skipping over to Walmart (no shame) and busting out onto Reserve to snatch up some sugary goodness from Rouseaurs (I can never spell their name). Down Reserve leads us all the way to no-persons land and our second Walmart stop, then a third Albertsons (crazy dance) and Target (we need TP). And with one more stop to make a bakers dozen I will slowly coast into the gas station on the corner of Broadway and Toole.
It's going to be a great time and my fellow employee's are going to love me for it. I suggest you take some time to collect free doughnuts tomorrow as well. After all, they went to all the trouble of having the day. The least you could do is participate.
Morrison out.
Everybody knows that a Burrow Owl lives in a whole in the ground and everybody knows that tomorrow is National Doughnut Day. Unless you didn't. Anyways I wanted to make sure that everybody knew that tomorrow you are supposed to be able to go to your local bakery and they are required to give you--at a minimum--1 free doughnut.
I, in my typical due-diligence, am drawing up a tour map. I'll be starting at the East Gate Albertsons, shooting down Broadway to the new Safeway store, angling back and south to The Downtown Bakery and then to Food Farm, cutting back over to LPO (ok, they don't have doughnuts, but I'm gonna need coffee at some point!), hooking across to Bernice's, at which point I'll lay down some rubber on Higgins all the way around the horn, hitting Patty Creek Market and the second Albertsons (in your face Albertsons!), cutting back up and all the way over to the second Safeway (in your...ah forget it), skipping over to Walmart (no shame) and busting out onto Reserve to snatch up some sugary goodness from Rouseaurs (I can never spell their name). Down Reserve leads us all the way to no-persons land and our second Walmart stop, then a third Albertsons (crazy dance) and Target (we need TP). And with one more stop to make a bakers dozen I will slowly coast into the gas station on the corner of Broadway and Toole.
It's going to be a great time and my fellow employee's are going to love me for it. I suggest you take some time to collect free doughnuts tomorrow as well. After all, they went to all the trouble of having the day. The least you could do is participate.
Or you could just save gas and buy one of these Mini Doughnut Maker
but what fun is that?
but what fun is that?Morrison out.
Friday, March 12, 2010
The World is a Vampire Riding a Peace Train
Morrison here,
The world is a vampire. I didn't make this up, the guy from that Halloween band did. Who knows who he stole it from. Regardless, he was pretty much right on. And the harder I try to shed a little sunshine on the thin, pale face of this raging monster we call the world, the more I want to draw the shades, nail the doors shut, hide out in the basement with a Humvee full of canned goods and the remaining Zelazny novels I've been saving to read while waiting nervously for the credits to roll. Sound grim? Maybe.
But, maybe not. Maybe its just reality. Maybe the world wasn't made to shed light on. Maybe the population isn't supposed to have a fair shake. Maybe...maybe my expectations are too high. Maybe the world isn't a vampire at all. Maybe I am.
Maybe, I'm asking too much. Whoops, lets try that again. Maybe, I'm asking too much. Shoot, one more time. Maybe, I'm asking too much. OK, close enough. Maybe I'm demanding too much from the world. It could be after all. I did get a liberal education and we all know that liberals are purely hell bent on saving the world! Or at least the people on the world. I always considered myself a bit of a Locke but I'm starting to wonder if I'm more of a Hobbe's. Or Perhaps it's just gas.
Regardless, I believe its time for me to think smaller. To close my mind to outside influences and to draw more power into my inner circle. The one that really matters. The one I really care about. Because lets face it. When the power goes out. None of you even exist.
Morrison out.
The world is a vampire. I didn't make this up, the guy from that Halloween band did. Who knows who he stole it from. Regardless, he was pretty much right on. And the harder I try to shed a little sunshine on the thin, pale face of this raging monster we call the world, the more I want to draw the shades, nail the doors shut, hide out in the basement with a Humvee full of canned goods and the remaining Zelazny novels I've been saving to read while waiting nervously for the credits to roll. Sound grim? Maybe.
But, maybe not. Maybe its just reality. Maybe the world wasn't made to shed light on. Maybe the population isn't supposed to have a fair shake. Maybe...maybe my expectations are too high. Maybe the world isn't a vampire at all. Maybe I am.
Maybe, I'm asking too much. Whoops, lets try that again. Maybe, I'm asking too much. Shoot, one more time. Maybe, I'm asking too much. OK, close enough. Maybe I'm demanding too much from the world. It could be after all. I did get a liberal education and we all know that liberals are purely hell bent on saving the world! Or at least the people on the world. I always considered myself a bit of a Locke but I'm starting to wonder if I'm more of a Hobbe's. Or Perhaps it's just gas.
Regardless, I believe its time for me to think smaller. To close my mind to outside influences and to draw more power into my inner circle. The one that really matters. The one I really care about. Because lets face it. When the power goes out. None of you even exist.
Morrison out.
Monday, March 8, 2010
I Buy all my Stay-Brite Silver Bearing Solder at Amazon.
Morrison here,
I've been obsessed with Amazon.com lately. And by lately I mean the last 6 months. You see, my boss is addicted to Amazon.com. He orders nearly everything at Amazon. This caused me to take off into the interworld to see what could be seen. And after much searching I'm thinking that shopping at Amazon might be the smartest thing an impulse shopper can do. Because you can save a ton of money on Amazon. You don't believe me? Then check out this package of HA Sta-brite 1/8" silver bearing solder. It retails for $149,998.50! Yours for only $125,999.00!
You: What?!
Me: Solder.
You: How Much?
Me: $125,999.
You: $125,999 (exasperated)
Me: Yeah, and its a steal because your saving nearly $25,000!
You: I don't believe it.
Me: Believe it
Now, I know what your thinking.
You: Yeah, sure. They have really great prices on solder, but what about crystal chandeliers? I bet they don't have decent prices on crystal chandeliers.
Me: Boosh!
You: That was just pure dumb luck. Let's see, I bet they don't have decent prices on a Justrite Yellow Gator Outdoor Spill Containment Caddy for a 30 or 55 Gallon Drum!
Me: Only $696,236.60 and I'm pretty sure they will deliver it for free!
You: Looking around the room for inspiration..oh, oh (because making those sounds will help?) how about a Core Cut Curb Cutting Rider Saw? No way they have that.
Me: Wroooooooong. (nice illiteration though)
You: (Pacing the room for a few moments rubbing your hands together, until slowly you mutter) How about an Anchor Height Adjustable Free-Standing Ladder Access System!
Me:(smiling) $43,580.60--would you like that with or without the ladder?
You: (mouth agap)
Me: Give up yet?
You: Not even close (clenching fists).
You: (slowly circling the room) Ok, How about an LED Bench?
Me: A what:
You: (you stop in mid-step, your eyes widen, a smile graces your face) AN LED BENCH!
Me: Hrmmm.
You: They don't have one! (triumphant)
Me: Wait, do you mean the never before seen item that features 288 white LEDs inside, emitting light on both sides. The one that is an actual bench to sit on, not a light sculpture. You mean the one designed by Ingo Maurer, made in Germany with a height: of 15 3/4" (40 cm), a Width of 19 5/8" (50 cm) and a Length of 78 7/8" (200 cm) made of laminated glass?
You: (eyes starting to well up) Do...they...have...that? (meakly)
Me:(softly, almost apologetic) Yes, yes they do.
Me: (pause)
You: (staring at me)
Me: Look, maybe we should just...
You: A Milwaukee 8925 15 Gallon 1-1/3 Horsepower Blower Wet/Dry Vacuum!?
Me: Yes
You: A JW Fishers SeaLion ROV!!?
Me: Yep
You: A Golden King DPS Plus Metal Detector!!!?
Me: Um, yup
You: A Velocity Micro Edge Lx555 Black Desktop PC!!!!?
Me: Yes, but I hear it didn't get a very good review.
You: A Queen Anne Cast Iron Table Base!!!!!?
Me: (starting to feel sorry this conversation started) Yes, for $1,764,704.12. Shipping's about 4 grand
You: (huffing and puffing) How about an Intercomp 16065 MS450 Mining Scale for loads up to 750,000 lbs!!!!!!?
Me: Yes, (getting nervous) Hey, how about we just forget...
You: No! Do they have a...
Random guy sub one: Hey! Are you guys done in there I really have to go.
Me: Oh, yeah, sorry. (flushing sound-coming out of the stall) Sorry (to random guy sub one)
You: This isn't over Morrision. I can't even go back to work now.I'm going to get a Whiskey (your voice trails as you leave through the door).
Me: Hrmmm....Well how do you like that? Amazon doesn't sell whiskey.
Morrison out
I've been obsessed with Amazon.com lately. And by lately I mean the last 6 months. You see, my boss is addicted to Amazon.com. He orders nearly everything at Amazon. This caused me to take off into the interworld to see what could be seen. And after much searching I'm thinking that shopping at Amazon might be the smartest thing an impulse shopper can do. Because you can save a ton of money on Amazon. You don't believe me? Then check out this package of HA Sta-brite 1/8" silver bearing solder. It retails for $149,998.50! Yours for only $125,999.00!
You: What?!
Me: Solder.
You: How Much?
Me: $125,999.
You: $125,999 (exasperated)
Me: Yeah, and its a steal because your saving nearly $25,000!
You: I don't believe it.
Me: Believe it
Now, I know what your thinking.
You: Yeah, sure. They have really great prices on solder, but what about crystal chandeliers? I bet they don't have decent prices on crystal chandeliers.
Me: Boosh!
You: That was just pure dumb luck. Let's see, I bet they don't have decent prices on a Justrite Yellow Gator Outdoor Spill Containment Caddy for a 30 or 55 Gallon Drum!
Me: Only $696,236.60 and I'm pretty sure they will deliver it for free!
You: Looking around the room for inspiration..oh, oh (because making those sounds will help?) how about a Core Cut Curb Cutting Rider Saw? No way they have that.
Me: Wroooooooong. (nice illiteration though)
You: (Pacing the room for a few moments rubbing your hands together, until slowly you mutter) How about an Anchor Height Adjustable Free-Standing Ladder Access System!
Me:(smiling) $43,580.60--would you like that with or without the ladder?
You: (mouth agap)
Me: Give up yet?
You: Not even close (clenching fists).
You: (slowly circling the room) Ok, How about an LED Bench?
Me: A what:
You: (you stop in mid-step, your eyes widen, a smile graces your face) AN LED BENCH!
Me: Hrmmm.
You: They don't have one! (triumphant)
Me: Wait, do you mean the never before seen item that features 288 white LEDs inside, emitting light on both sides. The one that is an actual bench to sit on, not a light sculpture. You mean the one designed by Ingo Maurer, made in Germany with a height: of 15 3/4" (40 cm), a Width of 19 5/8" (50 cm) and a Length of 78 7/8" (200 cm) made of laminated glass?
You: (eyes starting to well up) Do...they...have...that? (meakly)
Me:(softly, almost apologetic) Yes, yes they do.
Me: (pause)
You: (staring at me)
Me: Look, maybe we should just...
You: A Milwaukee 8925 15 Gallon 1-1/3 Horsepower Blower Wet/Dry Vacuum!?
Me: Yes
You: A JW Fishers SeaLion ROV!!?
Me: Yep
You: A Golden King DPS Plus Metal Detector!!!?
Me: Um, yup
You: A Velocity Micro Edge Lx555 Black Desktop PC!!!!?
Me: Yes, but I hear it didn't get a very good review.
You: A Queen Anne Cast Iron Table Base!!!!!?
Me: (starting to feel sorry this conversation started) Yes, for $1,764,704.12. Shipping's about 4 grand
You: (huffing and puffing) How about an Intercomp 16065 MS450 Mining Scale for loads up to 750,000 lbs!!!!!!?
Me: Yes, (getting nervous) Hey, how about we just forget...
You: No! Do they have a...
Random guy sub one: Hey! Are you guys done in there I really have to go.
Me: Oh, yeah, sorry. (flushing sound-coming out of the stall) Sorry (to random guy sub one)
You: This isn't over Morrision. I can't even go back to work now.I'm going to get a Whiskey (your voice trails as you leave through the door).
Me: Hrmmm....Well how do you like that? Amazon doesn't sell whiskey.
Morrison out
Friday, March 5, 2010
Smurfy New Movie
La, La, La, La, La...Morrison here,
People who were kids in the eighties I have an announcement for you. They are making a movie about Smurfs. Who is they? I don't know and I'm too lazy to look it up. And would you really care anyways? Nobody pays attention to who MAKES the movies, we only care about who is IN the movie. Stanley Kubrick could make the damn Smurf Movie, that still wouldn't stop 98 percent of the people from exiting the theater--ignoring the credits--with popcorn stained grins, squinting against the orange sun while muttering phrases like, "I liked that part where" or "that was so funny when" or "I can't believe that Neil Patrick Harris was cast as Gargamel!?" Oh, did I mention that Neil Patrick Harris was cast as Gargamel?
Ok, Ok, don't get your mushrooms in a bunch, he hasn't really been cast as Gargamel...officially. But some reports do say that the movie will be part live action, part animation. And who better to have as the hapless, evil wizard than Dr. Horrible himself (Neil Patrick they love you!). In addition to Mr. Patrick playing Gargamel (not official), four of the main voice cast members have been revealed, as well as a rough draft of a smurf from the film.
Morrision Out.
People who were kids in the eighties I have an announcement for you. They are making a movie about Smurfs. Who is they? I don't know and I'm too lazy to look it up. And would you really care anyways? Nobody pays attention to who MAKES the movies, we only care about who is IN the movie. Stanley Kubrick could make the damn Smurf Movie, that still wouldn't stop 98 percent of the people from exiting the theater--ignoring the credits--with popcorn stained grins, squinting against the orange sun while muttering phrases like, "I liked that part where" or "that was so funny when" or "I can't believe that Neil Patrick Harris was cast as Gargamel!?" Oh, did I mention that Neil Patrick Harris was cast as Gargamel?
Ok, Ok, don't get your mushrooms in a bunch, he hasn't really been cast as Gargamel...officially. But some reports do say that the movie will be part live action, part animation. And who better to have as the hapless, evil wizard than Dr. Horrible himself (Neil Patrick they love you!). In addition to Mr. Patrick playing Gargamel (not official), four of the main voice cast members have been revealed, as well as a rough draft of a smurf from the film.
Jonathan Winters, George Lopez, Katy Perry and Alan Cumming will voice Papa Smurf, Grouchy Smurf, Smurfette, and Gusty Smurf respectfully. Fans of the 80’s Smurfs series will appreciate Winters coming back to the smufs, as he voiced multiple characters on the long-running Hanna-Barbera series.Um, Gusty Smurf? I'm sorry, I know I was probably in a fruit loops induced coma most of the time I was watching the Smurfs, but I don't remember Gusty Smurf. But, I'm not really sure who Alan Cumming is either so that should work out just fine. Smurfs. Whats next. A movie about those Smurfing ripoff, little underwater bastards that lived in sea-shells?
Morrision Out.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Too Much Sex for PETA
Morrison here,
Um Huh, you read that correctly. And yes, this is a real ad, not a lame SNL half ass attempt at comedy (yikes that was redundant). It seems that PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) is using Mr. Woods' extramarital affair(s) as an opportunity to remind us that Bob Barker no longer hosts the Price is Right. And here I was almost over it. Damn you PETA!
I like the message. And I don't mind exploiting Tigers fame and infidelity to market an idea. But, for some reason, unlike chocolate and peanut butter, these are not two tastes that taste great together. There is something about this combo that leaves a bad taste in my mouth. (insert joke here).
It does remind me of this though.
Morrision out.
Um Huh, you read that correctly. And yes, this is a real ad, not a lame SNL half ass attempt at comedy (yikes that was redundant). It seems that PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) is using Mr. Woods' extramarital affair(s) as an opportunity to remind us that Bob Barker no longer hosts the Price is Right. And here I was almost over it. Damn you PETA!
I like the message. And I don't mind exploiting Tigers fame and infidelity to market an idea. But, for some reason, unlike chocolate and peanut butter, these are not two tastes that taste great together. There is something about this combo that leaves a bad taste in my mouth. (insert joke here).
It does remind me of this though.
Morrision out.
Monday, February 8, 2010
DartCalc for Dart Lovers
A quick post about an amazing iphone application that will revolutionize the way you score darts. Actually, not that many people play darts in the US. So, I guess you actually need to play darts in order to have a use for this program. And you need to have an iphone and those things are super expensive. And you need to have the time to play darts casually in a bar. And if you do, you probably don't have kids or a very stable home life. So, to sum up, if you are really rich, have an unstable home life and play darts I HAVE THE IPHONE APPLICATION FOR YOU!
This is the single greatest dart scoring application ever, not just the single greatest dart scoring application on the iphone. It just happens to be on the iphone. You think I'm joking. Check it out. Marvel! Marvel. Oh. Awe!
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