I Buy all my Stay-Brite Silver Bearing Solder at Amazon.

Morrison here,

I've been obsessed with Amazon.com lately. And by lately I mean the last 6 months. You see, my boss is addicted to Amazon.com. He orders nearly everything at Amazon. This caused me to take off into the interworld to see what could be seen. And after much searching I'm thinking that shopping at Amazon might be the smartest thing an impulse shopper can do. Because you can save a ton of money on Amazon. You don't believe me? Then check out this package of HA Sta-brite 1/8" silver bearing solder. It retails for $149,998.50! Yours for only $125,999.00!

You: What?!
Me: Solder.
You: How Much?
Me: $125,999.
You: $125,999 (exasperated)
Me: Yeah, and its a steal because your saving nearly $25,000!
You: I don't believe it.
Me: Believe it 

Now, I know what your thinking. 

You: Yeah, sure. They have really great prices on solder, but what about crystal chandeliers? I bet they don't have decent prices on crystal chandeliers.  
Me: Boosh! 
You: That was just pure dumb luck. Let's see, I bet they don't have decent prices on a Justrite Yellow Gator Outdoor Spill Containment Caddy for a 30 or 55 Gallon Drum!
Me: Only $696,236.60 and I'm pretty sure they will deliver it for free!
You: Looking around the room for inspiration..oh, oh (because making those sounds will help?) how about a Core Cut Curb Cutting Rider Saw? No way they have that.
Me: Wroooooooong. (nice illiteration though)
You: (Pacing the room for a few moments rubbing your hands together, until slowly you mutter) How about an Anchor Height Adjustable Free-Standing Ladder Access System!
Me:(smiling) $43,580.60--would you like that with or without the ladder? 
You: (mouth agap)
Me: Give up yet?
You: Not even close (clenching fists).
You: (slowly circling the room) Ok, How about an LED Bench?
Me: A what:
You: (you stop in mid-step, your eyes widen, a smile graces your face) AN LED BENCH!
Me: Hrmmm.
You: They don't have one! (triumphant)
Me: Wait, do you mean the never before seen item that features 288 white LEDs inside, emitting light on both sides. The one that is an actual bench to sit on, not a light sculpture. You mean the one designed by Ingo Maurer, made in Germany with a height: of 15 3/4" (40 cm), a Width of 19 5/8" (50 cm) and a  Length of 78 7/8" (200 cm) made of laminated glass?
You: (eyes starting to well up) Do...they...have...that? (meakly)
Me:(softly, almost apologetic) Yes, yes they do.
Me: (pause)
You: (staring at me)
Me: Look, maybe we should just...
You: A Milwaukee 8925 15 Gallon 1-1/3 Horsepower Blower Wet/Dry Vacuum!?
Me: Yes
You: A JW Fishers SeaLion ROV!!?
Me: Yep
You: A Golden King DPS Plus Metal Detector!!!?
Me: Um, yup
You: A Velocity Micro Edge Lx555 Black Desktop PC!!!!?
Me: Yes, but I hear it didn't get a very good review.
You: A Queen Anne Cast Iron Table Base!!!!!?
Me: (starting to feel sorry this conversation started) Yes, for $1,764,704.12. Shipping's about 4 grand
You: (huffing and puffing) How about an Intercomp 16065 MS450 Mining Scale for loads up to 750,000 lbs!!!!!!?
Me: Yes, (getting nervous) Hey, how about we just forget...
You: No! Do they have a...
Random guy sub one: Hey! Are you guys done in there I really have to go.
Me: Oh, yeah, sorry. (flushing sound-coming out of the stall) Sorry (to random guy sub one)
You: This isn't over Morrision. I can't even go back to work now.I'm going to get a Whiskey (your voice trails as you leave through the door).
Me: Hrmmm....Well how do you like that? Amazon doesn't sell whiskey.

Morrison out